SEEN, LOVE & CHOSEN

in Articles By Mccuon on 11 Dec 2026

As a child, I remember seeing people lift their hands in worship, and I was in awe of the sincere vulnerability in that lifting, the free-flowing tears, and the soldier-like commitment in service to this God. I could not help but ask: what were all of these people actually experiencing in this God?
Soon I would be pestering my pastor to lead me to Christ.
I got into the praying and also falling under the anointing as a kid just coz I saw others do so!

Time went by, and with time comes growth and issues I did not anticipate. I struggled to fit into circles. My self-esteem went lower with every attempt, and so I kept searching and adjusting to finally belong, to be known, to be loved.
I made myself useful to people in my life.
To my parents, I was the “good kid”, always on the good side. To my friends, it was a performance of perfection, which landed me the “ mom” title among some of my friend groups.

Caught up in the performance, I became a shadow of myself. So anxiety invited herself; so did her friends: anger, bitterness, pain and doubt. I had questions for God, and they weren’t polite ones. Where are You? Why does it feel like You looked away? Betrayed was the only word that fit.
There were nights I cried myself to sleep. I was drowning, and the people I thought knew me never noticed the water rising. But how could they? I had spent years making sure no one saw me struggle. The performance worked, and it left me alone in it.

Then light came from the least expected place.

I had left, but He never had.

My soul found His easily, as if no time had passed. He took in all of it, the pain, the anger, the accusations, and He did not flinch. There was no lecture and no condemnation. For the first time in a long while, I put my guard down. Not all at once. I had known Him for years, and my heart was still my heart, slow to trust and quick to hide. There were moments when conviction knocked and I turned the volume up on everything else, because what I thought He wanted was more than I could give.

Thinking that he would leave after I was stubborn, he still chose to stay in those moments. Offering love wave after wave! My mind never comprehended how He would still be kind even after grieving Him, but apparently His nature and character isn’t a reaction that is subject to circumstances but rather a choice of who He has chosen to be.

Finally, I could live outside of my mind. You know, not having to constantly criticize myself but rather look up to Christ and behold His Beauty and let him restore my soul. At the end of it all, I got to learn a couple of Things.

That I am loved, not because I have met a certain standard but because He chooses to love me, willingly. God isn’t only about purpose and spiritual maturity,but he is also concerned with your soul. He cares about how you felt rejected, and he wants to reassure you that you felt the pain, and it’s okay for you to talk to Him about it. He is a just God, always for us and not against us. He is for you! So remember that you are seen, beyond your strengths and weaknesses, but he sees you as a person genuinely.

You are loved beyond measure; he delights in you as much as you delight in Him. To Him, loving you is not a responsibility; it’s an expression of the heartfelt desire he has towards you. You are chosen, not just for you to fulfil purpose but for Him to call you his and for you to call him yours. It was never only about the assignment; it was always about you, as a daughter more than a minister. So rest in His love for you.